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So often you hear about the benefits of equine therapy. Just being in the presence of a horse is medicine for one’s soul. Working with horses boosts your confidence, helps you develop problem solving skills, teaches you how to trust, and makes you learn emotion regulation.
However, rarely do people talk about the mental and emotional implications of the lifestyle as an equestrian and how to deal with the stresses and pressures equestrians face from themselves and others. It is a neglected topic among coaches, but an important one. With this article I want to open the door to the conversation and give you tools to better your horsemanship, and maybe sportsmanship, inside and outside of the arena.
I saw a post once that said, “Horse care is not easy. It can seem that the more you know, the harder it actually gets”. After all, ignorance can be bliss. The more you learn about horse care, training, or riding, the more overwhelming it can become. As soon as you think you've figured everything out and are doing it all right, you get thrown a curve ball. It can be exhausting and maybe even take some of the enjoyment out of horses for you.
As a trainer and someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about the psychology of being a successful horse person. To succeed in the equine world you have to have mental strength. It’s learning how to control your emotions, purposefully thinking positive thoughts, and letting outside criticism roll off your back. By practicing these skills, you'll be prepared for times when you need them the most.
Let’s discuss the most common emotion equestrians struggle with, fear. Sometimes it’s a fear of something physical such as getting hurt or messing up your pattern. Or it could be a fear of being judged by your fellow equestrians, maybe your horse is being fresh, maybe you missed your lead, maybe they don’t agree with how you do things. Struggling with these issues isn't necessarily a bad thing for an equestrian. Horses are sensitive animals and being a sensitive person can be a good thing when it comes to riding and training your horse. If you're a highly sensitive person you'll be more perceptive of what is going on around you and we know how feel is important when working with a horse. However, when this emotion goes too far and starts controlling your thoughts and decisions it becomes anxiety.
To start working on your mental strength and controlling your fears, you have to start taking control of your thoughts. Your inner dialogue becomes your truth. My first challenge for you is to work on having positive thoughts in your daily life- at work and at home. Start practicing in situations where emotions aren't as high. As you get better, try practicing at the barn. I put together a few positive affirmations that apply to equestrians at the end of this article for you to start with.
Finally let’s discuss outside criticism. You’ll learn working with horses how to deal with the disapproval from others. You'll never please everyone all the time. Hearing criticism from someone else can make it challenging to think the positive thoughts we discussed above. If you're like me and struggle not to be a people pleaser, just the fear of what people may think can hinder or all together stop your success. Remember when dealing with judgmental people, that they often have their own insecurities and criticize others as a way to deflect attention from themselves. When you find yourself self conscious about your riding or training, tell yourself this.
"Other people's opinions of me do not define me. My self esteem should not be dependent on other people's approval."
So I challenge you in 2025 to think kind thoughts about yourself. It can be hard to not compare yourself to other people, especially with social media which doesn't show the whole picture. Remember that everyone's situation is different. Just because someone does things differently than you doesn't mean they are wrong. Other people are doing the best they can with what they have available to them too. Our experiences shape our opinions and what we believe to be right from wrong and nobody else's story is exactly the same as yours. You can make a difference in your barn and in the horse world. Surround yourself with people who empower and uplift you. Set boundaries with the people who don't.
These are all life lessons you can apply to your daily life outside of the barn. As I said at the beginning, working with horses boosts your confidence, helps you develop problem solving skills, teaches you how to trust, and makes you learn emotion regulation. There will always be someone with more experience than you and someone who can afford fancier horses than you. To me, success is not defined by ribbons and trophies. It's staying humble when you're winning and staying hopeful when you aren't. It's how you treat your horse and other people. It's doing better than you did yesterday.
"A winner is just a loser who tried one more time."
"I am a strong competitor."
"I am doing the best I can with what I've got."
"This is my journey and I'm in control of it."
"I trust myself to handle any challenges that come up with my horse."
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